I hate your face
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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