can u get pink eye on your cock?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize