You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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