So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
