took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
