Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
