I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
