Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
