I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize