READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
