Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize