I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize