Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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