Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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