I have demons in me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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