He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
