There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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