Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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