someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
