4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
