When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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