what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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