i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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