she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
