At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize