yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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