Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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