Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
