put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
