Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
