Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
