hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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