My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
