I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
