if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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