Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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