it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The maid of honor just puked.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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