***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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