shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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