so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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