Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
