covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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