I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
