just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I love having hate sex.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You ruined the universe
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
