I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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