Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
