We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
