I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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