Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
