It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
