First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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