I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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