you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
