I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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