So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
