I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
