My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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