Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
