But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
