i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
